This is a Challenge By Choice
I think one of the easiest things in the world is to stop when things get hard. To back down, slow down, or just decide it’s not worth it. I’ve done it plenty of times myself. Take running, for example. I’ll be jogging along and before long, I’m out of breath, my legs ache, and I just feel drained. Right there, in that uncomfortable moment, my mind gives me an easy out: just walk. The second I give in, I’m no longer pushing myself. The challenge disappears, and so does the chance to grow stronger.
We live in a world where comfort is always within reach. The couch, the phone, the quick fix. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with comfort. It’s good to rest, recharge, and feel safe. However, if that’s all we ever do, if we only live in that bubble, we never allow ourselves a chance to see what we’re really capable of. Growth doesn’t happen in still waters. It happens in the moments where things feel shaky, uncertain, and sometimes, even a little scary.
When I worked at camp, we talked about this idea through something we called “challenge by choice.” Before any adventure programming, like our ropes course, we’d have a conversation with campers about what that phrase meant. The ropes course was forty feet in the air, and not everyone loves heights. For some kids, the thought of climbing a ladder and clipping into a harness was terrifying. For others, it was the thrill of a lifetime. The point of challenge by choice wasn’t about finishing the course or competing with the fastest kid. It was about you choosing your challenge. Maybe that looked like standing at the base of the course in a harness. Maybe it looked like getting halfway up before deciding that was enough. Or, maybe it was flying through the entire course and hitting the ground with a huge grin. No matter what, every step was worth celebrating because every step was brave.
That lesson has stuck with me far beyond the ropes course. It made me rethink what it means to challenge myself in everyday life. Sometimes we think that challenges have to be massive: running marathons, climbing mountains, quitting jobs, or moving across the country. While yes, those are valid and brave, the truth is challenges often show up in small ways.
If you close your eyes and picture a target, you can imagine three rings of experience. At the very center is your comfort zone. This is where most of us live day to day. It’s familiar, safe, and predictable. It feels good because we know what to expect. But stay here too long, and growth stagnates. Nothing changes.
Just outside of that circle is your stretch zone. This is the space where growth happens. It’s uncomfortable, but not unbearable. It asks you to be brave, to try, to risk a little. This might look like meeting new people, learning a new skill, or putting yourself out there in a way that feels unfamiliar. For me, the stretch zone shows up in small, personal challenges: pushing through a tough run, introducing myself to someone new, or tackling a project I’m unsure about.
Lastly, the outer ring is the panic zone. This is where things go too far. This is when the fear takes over and you’re no longer in control. Instead of growth, you shut down. You can’t think clearly or regulate yourself, and all you want is to retreat.
The key to growth is to live in that stretch zone as often as we can. That’s where we test our edges, learn what we’re capable of, and surprise ourselves with strength we didn’t know we had.
The truth is, challenging yourself doesn’t always feel good in the moment. Sometimes it’s sweaty, frustrating, or awkward. It might even feel like failing. But, failure itself is often part of the stretch zone. If we never risk falling, we never get the chance to rise.
Every meaningful skill you have was once outside of your comfort zone. You weren’t born knowing how to drive, or cook, or love, or navigate friendships. You had to stretch. You had to try. You had to risk not getting it right. And you grew because of it.
What I’ve learned is that challenging yourself is less about proving something to the world and more about proving something to yourself. It’s about whispering, “I can do hard things,” and then showing yourself you’re right. When you do, your comfort zone expands. What once felt impossible starts to feel natural, and suddenly you’re ready to step into the next stretch.
The beautiful thing is that challenges don’t have to look the same for everyone. For some, it’s speaking in public. For others, it’s traveling alone. For one camper, it might have been climbing forty feet into the air; for another, it was putting on the harness and helmet. Growth isn’t about comparison. It’s about courage.
When we give ourselves permission to step into discomfort, we unlock something powerful. We learn that we are adaptable. We learn that we are resilient. We learn that we can survive the shaky ground and come out stronger on the other side.
Remember, the goal isn’t to live in panic. It isn’t about forcing yourself into situations that overwhelm you. The goal is to step just far enough out of comfort that you grow, learn, and expand.
Every time you stretch, your circle widens. And with each step, you discover that you’re capable of far more than you once believed. That is the quiet, powerful reward of challenging yourself.
Because the truth is, comfort might feel safe, but growth feels alive.
