A Gay Guide to Surviving the Holidays
As we are in the midst of the holiday season and many of us are finding ourselves more anxious, on edge, and feeling not so fantastic. Between baking, shopping, planning, cooking, and cleaning, we almost need a holiday to celebrate surviving the season. Many of us in the LGBTQ+ community experience immense dread this time of year. No one really talks about how absolutely exhausting the holiday season is… especially when you’re the gay cousin. Much of this dread sources from the anticipation of spending time with our family. We may find it hard to relate to our family members, resulting in the uncomfortable, and bogus conversations that make pulling teeth sound not too bad. Fortunately, for anyone who can relate to this, I am here to offer a few tips and tricks to make the holidays with family more tolerable.
Starting off with my personal favorite tip: make friends with animals! Thankfully, it is typical for a household to have a pet or two. Animals make for a great excuse to step away from festivities and recharge. Pets are simply the best. Because they cannot speak human, dealing with trash opinions and being asked a million questions about your “roommate” are just some of the things you do not have to deal with. There are also plenty of therapeutic benefits of playing with animals. These benefits include decreasing loneliness, increasing feelings of social support, and they can be a great mood booster.
If humans happen to be the only species present, or allergies prevent you from hanging with a furry friend, do not fear! I am unsure how other families work, but my family tends to make these gatherings all-day events. iPads, coloring books, and Barbie dolls typically accompany the little ones to keep them busy. Who is to say that just because I am an adult, I cannot bring my iPad, coloring books or Barbie dolls? Okay, well maybe leave Barbie at home… or don’t… it’s up to you really, but bring your book, headphones, or favorite individual activity.
Depending on how big your crew is, you may be lucky enough to share the title of “gay cousin” with someone else. If you are so lucky to have a fellow queer in the house and sense they may also be teetering into the anxieties mentioned above, invite them to go on a walk. Walking is fantastic because it allows for exercise, fresh air, and, you guessed it: separation from the chaos.
There are many reasons one may want to avoid family this season. Whether it be fear of catching the stomach bug your niece brought from her grimy daycare, your job, or a deeply rooted tension between you and your folks, any reason is a valid reason to sit out on festivities. Your presence at the dinner table is not worth a depletion of your mental health. Keep in mind, you do not owe an explanation to anyone. Ever. Although, it is polite (and probably preferred) that you inform at least someone of your absence if your presence is expected. That way you don’t leave your family wondering if you fell off the face of the Earth. All it takes is a quick and simple, “Hey, for personal reasons, I will not be attending grandma’s breakfast on Christmas.” Keep in mind that “personal reasons” are personal and don’t need to be elaborated on unless it is something you wish to share. Do yourself a favor and take care of yourself this holiday season. It is the gift we all need, but often fail to receive.
